Sunday, July 22, 2012

Mixed Emotions

It's amazing how quickly a week can go from amazing to questionable to downright heart breaking.

On Tuesday we left at 5am in the morning to drive up to Napa.  Our friends were already there with our godson, Bronson.  We wined, dined, and had an amazing time.  While there we enjoyed (free!) tastings at Chappellet, Opus One, Flora Springs, Schramsburg, Frank Family, Silverado, Paraduxx, Grgich, Alpha Omega, and more.

My overall favorite was Chappellet.  Love their reds and whites.  Plus we served this at our Boston wedding.  Alpha Omega had the most amazing Chardonnay.  It tasted like caramel corn!   Lastly, Schramsburg was very cool with caves dating back to the 1800's.

Leaving on Friday was not an easy thing to do, especially since Allen had to head off to work Friday night.

While in Napa we got a text from our friend/egg donor "We need to talk when you get back".  Hmm.... And on the drive back we get a call from Allen's boss "We need to meet when you get back".  Hmm....

Work ended up being a move to another restaurant location.  I know I need to be supportive.  I know I need to suck it up and be happy he has a great job.  I just hate that he works long hours, we don't get 24 hour periods together, and now he'll be working farther from home.  I used to pop in all the time to see him but with the new location across town and the addition of crazy LA traffic, "popping in" isn't going to be easy.

We met with our friend/egg donor today.  She has been holding back the fact she has some hormonal issues that are now going to prevent her from taking the necessary drugs to donate eggs.  She has tears in her eyes while telling us she can't move forward with helping us start a family.  I'm holding my tears back as I'm devastated and wondering how we are going to proceed now.

As they say this too shall pass.  Its just so frustrating.  One minute you're flying high, enjoying your 16 month old godson in one hand, a glass of wine in the other, and dreaming about how this life will be yours soon -- very soon.  And the next minute *BAM* your husband's job is moved across town and *BAM* you lose your egg donor.

Ugh.  Here's to a happier post next time!  In the meantime, some pics of our godson, Bronson!


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Girls, Girls, Girls. Questions, Questions, Questions.

On Sunday we met Olivia & Clara!  They are the beautiful twins featured on one of the blogs we follow, Stalking the Stork .  Oh yea, and we met their dads Jason & Adrian.

Jason & Adrian were gracious enough to take time to meet total strangers (us) and talk about their journey to fatherhood.  Over the course of 2 hours and plates of eggs and pancakes (mmm...carbs) Allen and I bombarded them with just about every question you could imagine.  From how they selected SCI, to the costs, Delhi overall, their experience, other IP's, flying with newborns, the exiting process, being new dad's, you name it we probably asked it.

Our latest question to ourselves, and mind you we haven't even signed with an agency yet, is "If we have twins do we get a side-by-side or a front-to-back stroller?".  We obviously had to ask this question to Jason and Adrian and we were shocked to hear their response:  "Both!  We have 5 strollers!".  Jason went on to explain friends will buy gifts or donate items they no longer use so they ended up with a few of them.  Our place barely has room for 1 stroller, I think its time we move!

Brunch was great and we hope to see the guys and their two gorgeous girls again soon.  They definitely helped ease our fears of surrogacy overseas.  I totally forgot to take pictures so this will have to do:

Not sure I like how my hair came out in this photo.

Yesterday for lunch I met another girl, our prospective egg donor.  Well, I didn't just "meet" her, she is a friend.  We met for lunch at Tavern in Brentwood (only the best for my prospective future eggs/embryos/children) and talked about everything.

I prepped a week before the lunch by emailing with Allie of Welcome to the Road.  She just finished her second round of IVF with SCI and was a wealth of information.  My prospective donor really appreciated all the investigative work I did too.

Like the meal with Jason & Adrian, this one was filled with many questions (and carbs!).  Someone might be your friend but you've probably never sat down and drilled them with so many personal questions like:

  • What was your GPA?
  • Are your grandparents alive?  How did they die?  
  • How many siblings do your parents have?  Do they have any medical conditions?
  • How are your parent's health?  
  • Do you have health insurance?  
  • What are you thoughts on abortion?  Selective reduction?  Excess embryos?  
  • What do you see as your role, if any, with the child(ren)?  Can we rely on you for financial support and babysitting on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays?  

Okay maybe I didn't ask that last one.

I also never thought I'd find myself talking to a woman about her period, cycle, and the timing of a flight to India based on when she is menstruating.  I think I handled it quite well.

All in all the lunch went great.  I think our biggest hurdle is her fear of flying and traveling to India to donate.  She offered to donate before we announced we are strongly considering going overseas. Fingers crossed she is happy to travel as the savings will be substantial.

Our donor is beautiful but I'm not sure I should be posting her photo just yet.  So instead, I'll post one of the dessert we shared.  S'mores with dark chocolate and vanilla ice cream, marshmallow fluff (it's toasted on top, you just can't see it), fancy graham crackers, and caramel corn.

Not sure I'm going to like how my thighs will look after eating this.  Not sure I care.