Saturday, June 30, 2012

Q & A

So many questions. So many answers. I think I've been driving Meg and Margarida crazy with all my emails but I guess they must be used to it.

Here are some of my Q & A, maybe it will help some of you in the process of becoming IPs. It's by no means comprehensive but maybe it will help. Answers are paraphrased.

Do you have references in the US?
While they won't give you a reference, they will send your contact info out with your permission. They asked 4 IPs/Ps and all 4 got back to us providing great feedback.

US companies have 2-hour meetings for face-to-face and to learn about the process. Can we do this with SCI?
No. SCI does not offer a 2-hour Skype call but you can Skype with Meg if you have any questions.

Do you require any type of psychological exam or report on our egg donor?  In the US, surrogacy agencies require we have our egg donor go through a psych evaluation and they require a written report.  Is anything required in that regard?
if you are going through a donor agency, this is generally done by the agency. If this is a private arrangement, then it is up to you as to whether there is a psych evalation. This is preferable, but not essential as this is being treated as a self cycle.

Can extra embryos be shipped back to the US?
Yes, it's about $3,000

How long is our donor in Delhi for?
If cycle is started at home, about 10 days.
If cycle is started in Delhi, about 16-17 days.
(where cycle means medical supervision and meds)

Can my husband and I split the eggs and have embryos created for each of us?

Can we place one of each embryo in the same surrogate?
No. [I didn't like this answer]

Do we both need to travel to India to, um, make a deposit, or can we freeze and ship the swimmers?
You can freeze and send. You'll want to get testing done to ensure they will freeze/thaw well.

My friend is going to be in Delhi for work, can he visit SCI and staff?
Yes, we can make an appointment for him.

Does the hospital offer circumcision?
Yes they do, but you need to request this as it is not the norm.
[hmmm... I think I want someone overly experienced to do this!]

Should I be trying to blog on an iPad?
No, it's a lot of extra work but I'm too lazy to get out of bed and grab my laptop. Plus I can't add pictures! Now it's just long and boring.

Ok so that last one wasn't sent to SCI.

Turning to Allen, lying next to me coughing and sick: "Hey babe what was the name of the shrinky dink we met with? And if you get me sick I'm going to kill you.". He replies "Dr Elaine Gordon. *cough* I love you.". "Love you too, babe. Don't breathe on me."

So we also met with Dr. Gordon this past Thursday. She was highly recommended by agencies here in Los Angeles. When going through a US agency they require you meet with a psychologist. We figured it couldn't hurt.

We talked about whose swimmers go first; what to say if people ask whose swimmer won; the support of our family and friends; the importance of meeting the surrogate for ourselves and for the story for our kid(s); parental roles; the fears of India; and more. It was a great hour meeting. We'll also be sending out friend/egg donor to her for a session. I don't think the meeting was all that necessary for us, and we don't need a second one, but I'm glad we did it.

Lastly, just a big thank you to those keeping blogs and posting comments on ours. We greatly appreciate your honesty and each post helps us learn more about the process and feelings involved.

Now to go back to nursing my sick husband. I better not be blogging next week that i'm sick...


  1. Great questions. Especially the one about circumcision - i didn't even think of that one!

  2. You guys sound like me, ask MEG of all the e-mails and crap she got from me, sometimes 4 times a day. You guys will be fine you are in the best hands with Dr. Shivani. I am in my 9th week right now and all is going well with my baby. I will get my 10 week report on Wednesday. The only thing I have to say is you should go to Dehli to make your deposit, You need to see the Dehli life see the beautiful city and meet the wonderful people, this way when your child grown's up you can share your wonderful story with them. BTW Air India fly's non stop from Chicago. Good luck guys if you need anything I am stateside too.


  3. Totally weird question and I'm not suggesting you do this, BUT could you theoretically supply a mixed sample? It's not something I would have ever thought of except your "placing each embryo" question did make me wonder. I would probably ask an embryologist over here about the problems that may cause. I'm sure there is probably legit reasons why you would not.

    The state we were in did not allow the sale of certain magazines, and thus they allowed me to enter the sample room with my husband. (I can't believe I just wrote that...) Again, I'm soooo not suggesting anything (I'd hate to be the cause of a messed up IVF cycle), but honestly just wondering out loud.

    1. They told me for legal purposes they must know who the genetic father is prior to IVF. Personally I don't get it. It's OK to "mix" in the US and India still requires a DNA test once its born. So it makes no sense. At least you got to "make" a baby together! :)

  4. the blogs are an amazing place! much more than I ever imagined!

  5. I'd love to see the look on Meg or Margarida's face when she reads that question!!

  6. I asked the same question regarding having a single surrogate carry embryos from both of us. I'm not sure why, but the answer was no. We'd have to use two surrogates. Hope the sick husband feels better soon!

    1. He's a bit better, thanks! We got the same answer, use 2 surros. When we start it will be with only one surro because we don't want to risk the possibilities of multiple births with each surro. (3 or 4 babies! Some can do it, but I know I can't!)